Daughters. 

So you have a daughter. How has she changed your life? Maybe you wanted a boy and got a girl instead. Maybe you didn’t want a child anyway but got stuck with having to raise a girl. Maybe you raped your wife, maybe you beat her too. Did that escalate too quickly for you? Let’s tone it down a notch. Were you looking forward to having a kid and that too a girl? Question 1- are you Indian? Are you sane enough to care for your little girl the way she deserves or will you care for her the way society expects you to i.e. youll care for her till she gets married and then since she’s part of another family and all of your responsibilities end right then and there. Please be a good father and an even better mother. Love your daughters, they make life so much better. The princesses without castles and Knights in shining armours. But we, as parents, are around to fulfill particularly those roles. What’s better than waking up every morning to daughter’s crying for mommy and daddy? It’s tiring, I know and I understand. Children can drive you mad. Our partners can drive us mad. But what’s this life if not a little crazy? 

We need our doses of mad, but children do take it up a notch. With care, love and patience, all we can manage is just keeping them longer with us, when they leave they leave. It’s what we fear. Our children leaving. Our parents have asked us to go make our futures and we shall be doing the same. 

With daughters the fear for their safety is imminent. The fear that they’ll be part of another family, the fear of their choice of partners. Every mother knows this to be true. Every daughter feels the same way her mom feels too. It is only when we as mothers and as daughters, know our fears to be the offshoot of a different kind of love is when we know our love for our babies to be absolutely true. There won’t be a similar kind of love, the kind we feel for our own offsprings. Knowing that the little person sitting right in front of you is an amalgamation of you and your partner. Each and every thing about the two of you will be manifested in your child. The good, the bad and the downright unthinkable. The things you didn’t know about your own self will be visible as traits of your own child. Your talents will shine from their own skin. That’s the good part. No one will ever be able to prepare you for your own children. It’s a little adventure on its own. I don’t know if my parents see it as an adventure but knowing how much I and my partner, both of us are fans of the anti-monotony, we might just strap up for the ride fine. 

Never forget what has been granted to you as a gift should be seen as one, don’t let go of the very basis of why you ever wanted children. Only to share all the love you held for each other and turn it into a live human to spread the word.  

 

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1 Comment

  1. That’s the tragedy of the human life. It sees the world as a whole system set in motion. A system of all wrongs, a system which is out to get them. Little time does this human ever spend on realising how the world is but a mere reflection of what the human himself is. It goes on about forcing his own self upon the world, hoping one day things would turn up in a way he wants to. What he forgets is the world is full of all the hints, the pathways the human must take to go about doing anything in this world.

    Enforcing the mistaken belief extends upon his family, kids, sons and daughters. It is this belief which makes him truly feel he must go on trying to make others work the way he wants them to. When in fact, once he carefully listens to what the world has to say, and then do what all the subtle hints directed towards him, he truly for the first time becomes what he himself wants to be. And then, everything around him begins unfolding just the way the things NEED to unfold. Not how he WANTS them to unfold.

    This endless debacle between the Man’s want vs. the Universe’s need for him is what sets this cycle in motion. It is this cycle that one must carefully break all the wheel spokes of. Wheel spokes meaning his endless routine, setting up things just the same fucking way they’ve always been, generation after generation.

    Like

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