The unwilling un-end (Contd.)

…stopped doubting what they had. He lay in bed while he heard the click of the door closing behind her, as she left. He thought about the first day he met her. How she waited for him for a long time before he finally showed up, how they smiled at each other because they both knew they had always like each other since the time they had met as children, how they ended up driving around the whole city, eventually she held his elbow while crossing the road and he fell in love with her like he fell off a cliff.

He thought about the times they had fought, for small things or big and how he had hurt her. How he had broken his promises and still went back to promising again. He also thought about how she stuck with him and loved him the same, taking him as being her best friend. He never realized how apart they were growing. It wasn’t a nice feeling. But he believed in himself and her too. That they will make it better.

She sat in the car and looked outside to see the rain pouring over the poor children on the roadside. It made her think of the children she wanted to have with him lying on the bed, at home. How the dreams they shared were slowly being ripped across like old movie posters from public spaces. She thought of the mistakes she occasionally made and how hard it was getting to please him. The stress was beginning to affect her work and mind and she thought it was making her go crazy.

His habits affected her but her need to cuddle in his arms were greater. He wanted to give her attention but forgot about it which made her sad. She would sit and cry inside the bathroom, but he forgot to listen. Then she would come out, wipe her tears, wash her face, put on a smile and would go and kiss him.

This everyday routine was not what they or she looked forward to. She imagined them growing old someday, sitting on their porch and smiling toothless smiles at each other. But too far along into their imperfections, they come to realize that being with each other was hard, being without each other, even more so. She sits at her desk, starts scrolling down the pages opened from the previous day, where she reads about the most obnoxious things and smiles. Every time she smiles, she ends up missing him a bit less, but when left alone, or in the bathroom, the pang of his presence gets so intense that she has to start off the breathing exercises she learnt from college.

After work, she decides to grab a bottle of mandarin vodka that she planned on drinking alone in the bathroom. She had a neat house and she was very proud of it. She had the latest gadgets which melted beautifully with the vintage charm of her home. Her bathroom was her baby, where she put a couch for the times she needed to lock herself away. As soon as she reached back home, she saw him, they said hi to each other through their eyes and she went inside the bathroom. After a hot shower, in the cold November night, she sits on that couch and starts drinking. With the whole bottle done, she starts fumbling around their bedroom and smashing her own photos…  

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